Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Hello diary..

This is kind of like a "dear diary" isn't it. You can get rid of all your unwanted thoughts cluttering your mind and recycle them here.

I went to see my shrink today who has signed me off at last, after six months. I didn't tell him I ditched the pills about three months ago and that's why I am feeling a whole lot better!

My main problem is getting my husband to see sense. Not an easy task. I tried to talk to him last week and it ended in tears, with me crying and practically begging at his feet to see reason.
I cant really believe he wants to put us all though so much pain by constantly dragging his heels and burying his head in the sand. I have tried to see things from his point of view and take things slow but now it is pissing me off big time. Its like a big gaping wound that is constantly festering and it is very hard to stay focused on the fact that is WILL get better.

As for the other man in my life? Another source of pain and pleasure. Well god only knows. I can only take the snippets of time he is prepared to give. Perhaps if my home life were different then he would be too? But I really don't know. I have a feeling that this is all he will ever be prepared to give me. Its such as shame as I know ( and I think he does too) that we could be great friends, lovers and so much more if things were different. But they're not.

I just wish I were stronger and that he didn't intrude on my thoughts in quite such a big way.

There we go. A sensible entry for once.

Au revoir x

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