Now I know why I haven't fallen in love with anyone for 20 years. The pain of it, it's the worst feeling in the world.
I am trying hard to be brave, but I am hurting badly. I think I have set myself up for a fall, asking him to remember my birthday. I dont even expect he will call and I will end up having a shite day.
I could live without him in my life, but I miss him though. I miss his friendship, I want to phone him and talk to him about things in my life, I miss the buzz and excitment of him, I miss the chemistry and I miss the sex. Yes all those things.